Friday, 14 March 2014

Living and Learning Amidst the Trickery of a Brain.

Since my last post, some things have changed, progressed in some ways and retreated in others. The life I was living in Ayora with my daily tasks in the field and in the mill searching for ways that showed me food sovereignty was an important element to the organization UNOPAC and the community itself, came to an end. I had not expected to ever leave the town early, before I was supposed to. Nearing the end of February I was overcome with feelings I cold not manage alone. Having experienced my first ever connection to my own suffering mind about 4 years ago, I knew I needed to make changes to my lifestyle.
I have never exactly been open about my own inner struggles, but perhaps it is time that I put it out there; in a sphere that can be read by whomever chooses without facing the audience directly. At the age of 18-years-old I had found myself feeling different than I ever had: nervous, tired, unmotivated, sad, and unable to control these feelings. While living in residence at Laurier surrounded by some of the best friends a girl could want to have, I wondered how I could feel this way when I was surrounded by fun and great, and kind people. It wasn't until months later that I realized I could have been living in a $4.5 million house in the Swiss alps and I still would have felt the same. For months I pushed myself through it, thinking I was just homesick and uncomfortable in a new city, stressed by my first year of university. For those months I was making things worse without realizing it. Each day that I pushed through without talking about my feelings I dug myself  deeper into the hole of depression in which I found myself lying, unassisted and weak, at the bottom. I spent every waking moment I could with my friends. I read, wrote papers, and even cooked dinner in their apartment to avoid being alone with my thoughts which I knew were slowly destructing me. Eventually exam time came and I had gone home to study, realizing that I wasn't doing any studying at all. Hour after hour I sat at home consumed in my thoughts and feelings, wondering how I would manage another semester the way I did the previous one. I was scared, and overwhelmed. Finally, an afternoon came where I set my books aside and explained what I was dealing with to my mom, whom I had spent many nights phoning from residence just to have someone to cry to. Of course, I have the best mom in the world for being brave while I was scared, telling me things would change even though it was hard to see it then, and eventually, after my exams, helping me move my life from Laurier back to home. I am sure she was scared it might have been the wrong decision to allow me to drop out of school, but she believed in me and took a chance. Always wanting me to be happy above anything else. Although I wanted to leave school so that those feelings I had could stop, I immediately began to feel overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for being "weak" and not being able to deal with this, angry at myself for "failing" and most of all crushed that I was leaving behind people that I loved  who would carry on their university careers together, afraid they would forget me and I would no longer fit in to our group of friends.
My life then consisted of dealing with the realization that I was depressed and the stigma embedded in it, explaining it to my friends and hoping they would understand, and trying to find purpose. Many days would pass where I couldn't think of anything worthwhile getting out of bed for, or I would sit eating dinner with my family around me only to need to leave so that I could cry, never really knowing why I was crying and so upset. I remember one day specifically where I sat in my living room crying and pulling at my hair, feeling like I was going crazy. My heart was beating quickly and when I removed my hands from my face I felt an indescribable feeling. I felt as if gravity was pushing against me, the air in the room was slowly being sucked out, the walls and the ceiling were crowding me, there was no space left for me which left me feeling what I can only assume it feels like to drown. I tried to breathe and eventually went outside into the cold winter weather where everything suddenly became better. I have always considered that moment the lowest of my lows where I couldn't seem to find a way out of my own mind. I did, of course, I opened a door and left, the same way one normally leaves something. That realization made me feel normal, the most normal I had felt in a long time.
For 2 or 2.5 years I took medication to help my body produce more serotonin so that when the serotonin worked to passed into my brain, more of it would flow straight in instead of not being able to make the full trip. This made me feel better in general, although there were still days when I felt as if I hadn't taken any medication at all. I began to do things, real things with purpose. I traveled to England with a best friend to visit my sister, I became the care giver of my two favourite little girls a few times a week while their parents were at work, and eventually I began to look into my future by researching schools. This allowed me to open my eye to new places and experiences, to give and accept love, and take control of my future.  At 20-years-old I returned to school, this time closer to home but a place where I felt more productive studying something I am truly passionate about in a program that's one of a kind. I stopped taking my medication slowly and for my first 2 years of university I did not need it nor feel like I needed any assistance.  This year, living and studying in Ecuador, I feared that I might find myself trapped in that hole again. I wanted the experience and thus, I took the chance. For months (the first 6 in fact) I felt great. I was comfortable and enjoying my time in a new country doing things most don't get the chance to do, seeing things that could be gone in a few years time. However, just a month ago I began to feel things while living away at my placement that I knew all too well. I didn't know where they came from and couldn't explain it. For days I dealt with it, telling myself with each passing day I would begin to feel better. As time progressed and things got worse I realized that the struggles I had endured with my mental health in the past were likely something I will deal with through intervals throughout my life. And I knew I needed to find someone to help me.
The result has been that I am suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. This was a new type of struggle for me and something I have had to learn to deal with differently, especially at this critical time where I am amidst my involvement in a very important volunteer placement to secure my completion of this year abroad program. Days of no motivation are met with nervous and anxious feelings of everything ranging from tomorrow and what it will hold, to figuring out my research, to finishing out my placement at a new place. I began working on an organic farm just outside the city of Quito where I am living once again. The farm produces mainly for the "Canastas" program. The owners used to sell in ferias (markets within the city) but there was too much uncertainty about profit so they began their Canastas system. Each week they assemble baskets for their regular buyers of whatever fruits ad vegetables are ready to be picked that week. All products are grown organically sold at a set price of $5/basket. The idea is to cut out the middle man by linking buyer with producer directly. In this way there is more communication about sustainable harvesting as well about demand, satisfaction, and prices. The work is more than interesting for me and allows me to continue to notice elements of food sovereignty but in new and different ways. I find it hard making daily trips to the farm. I find it hard concentrating on work and my research when my mind shifts to everything but that. I find it hard to minimize my anxiety when it sets in and to block it out all together. However, I am trying my very hardest to work through it without pushing myself back into another hole that is far too deep to climb out of. I see a day where I am managing much better, and I know there will be a day when I can wean off medication again and get back to being the best me I can be. I am sure another time in my life will come where I feel the lows of depression or the shaking, fast beating heart and feelings of anxiety but after my last experience and certainly after this one (dealing while in a foreign place, new language, away from family) I am more confident than ever that I can continue being Emily. Although I sometimes feel like I am going crazy, there is nothing better than knowing that I have support, that I have the will power to continue to learn, to continue to help, to continue to be passionate and an activist, continue to snowboard, listen to music, travel, camp, eat, love, and smile. Life goes on.

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

The Life of a Rural Farmer

And, I am back. It is never easy to find some time to write but this time I have been busier than most. Since my last post I have left my host family in Quito (check the photo below of me with Margarita, Jose-Maria and Black) and started the second aspect of my year abroad. That being the experiential learning aspect through a 10-week field placement. I was having trouble choosing an organization and finally settled on an agricultural organization focused on organic production called UNOPAC (federacion de organizations populares de Ayora-Cayambe). I am living in the small rural town of Ayora near Cayambe in the north of Pichincha province.
I moved here around the 13th of January and spent 4 weeks working there before returning back to Quito where I am now. Our placement was split up as 4 weeks and then 6 weeks with this week long break of classes in the middle. It's nice to have a break when almost halfway through my work experience. At this point I am only 2 months away from leaving Ecuador and venturing back to Canada. It's bittersweet and almost surreal.
One of my first tasks at the organization was to assist in the fields one Monday. We stocked the truck with sacks of wheat, oats and barley and drove up to a very large field. The men and women tied blankets around their bodies and held the ends to create a space in the middle to hold the grains. They then walked up and down the field tossing the grains in front of them as they walked. It looked like tough work as they each held a swelling amount of grain in their blankets that pulled on their backs. The land had an incline which I determined to be the main reason the work was as tiring as it was. My job was to walk around the field with the sacks of grain to fill up the worker's  blankets when they got low. I learned to throw a bag of grain over my shoulder and lug it around. I was exhausted! I soon learned it wasn't efficient for me to follow the workers around as I was tiring myself out too quickly so I stood in the middle of the field and filled up the blankets as the workers passed me. This saved me a lot of energy! After we finished this field, we had lunch where I realized I was getting a bad headache from the strong sun and became very tired. After lunch however, there were still 2 more relatively large fields to plant. Just like the other workers who were likely just as tired, I had to push through it and finish out the days work. The week before I had helped working on a Minga. These are traditional farming systems in small areas where a group of people help someone work their land for no exchange of money but rather receive help on their land by the rest of the group when needed. It is an exchange of labor for labor rather than labor for money. I hoed the land and planted potatoes and then pushed the soil back over every potato. All work with the organization is manual. The organization owns a tractor which is used to till the larger plots of land and they just bought two small soil tillers to turn the soil on smaller plots to save time, hard labor and make the work more efficient.
I also work in their grain mill where we work through a series of processes to make products such as Arroz de Cebada (barley rice), harina de trigo (Wheat flour) and their local indigenous product called Uchu Jacu (a flour type product often used in soups). This flour is made from 6 grains and is extremely nutritious so it is highly valued in the town as people can eat that in their soup and receive many nutrients they need. We dump sacks of oats, barley, wheat, corn, haves (a type of bean high in calcium), and another type of bean as well as garlic into a large wooden barrel after they have all been put through the roasting furnace. We mix the ingredients and then take buckets full and dump that in the first grinder which breaks the mix down to a rough powder. The mix then goes through a second grinder to smooth it out and gets put back into the sacks. We then take these sacks and scoop some into a sifter and sift all the four to separate any bits of grain or sticks that didn't get ground or shouldn't be in the flour. After this we add cumin and mix the flour. I then scoop  100 grams into  specially designed bags for sale and weigh it and then seal it using a hot plastic press to ensure the bags are closed and ready to be sold. I have also spent time picking through sacks of roasted barley to remove sticks, burnt pieces and anything that doesn't belong. Work in the mill can be tedious but it is work I never envisioned being involved in with my placements and it is some of my favorite work because it is all so new to me.
Our placements are based upon a research question which we use to discover and understand our organization and its relationship to the development of the community. My research question is "In what ways is agro ecological production contributing o food sovereignty?" I chose this question and my placement in general for a few reasons but mostly because of where I come from. In Canada and in my town, agriculture is extremely important in supplying food locally, in the cites, in the province, the country and even internationally. In the capitalist system in which we live, to be a farmer can be far less rewarding than we may like to believe. Farming is important to internal incomes to supply locally for the people but often is also important for export economies like in Ecuador where a great deal of production is concentrated in Cocao, Coffee, and Bananas for global export. However, across the world many people who rely on farming do so but only far for subsistence meaning they produce just enough to feed themselves and not enough to sell. Others produce entirely for sale but cannot feed their families because of the low return value as the government sweeps most of the export income into their own hands. Farming is one of the hardest jobs yet one of the least rewarding and is the thing which keeps us alive. Issues such as hunger, famine, and food security (which should be defined as all being different concepts) are all issues relating to the struggles and inequalities embedded within food. Food is unequally distributed globally and often the people who produce the food cannot feed themselves. For these reasons food sovereignty and now agro ecological production are important to me and something I think deserve and need to be understood better.
I am feeling more comfortable and welcomed in my community. I live with another host family of a mom, dad, ad 12 year-old girl. The father, Pablo, is one of the founders of UNOPAC and answers many of my questions regarding my 'research'. Upon arriving in Ayora I met an older Italian woman named Daniella. She welcomed me immediately and cooked me a welcome dinner that night. She has lived in Ecuador for a long time and is doing 3 years of research in the town regarding family dynamics and the roles of women. I considered her my closest fried, although we are many years apart, but to have connections and friendships in the community is comforting. The first while was overwhelming as the people were new, as was the work, and the community. I am feeling more settled now.
Overall, my placement is going well and I am trying o make the most of each experience I have. I must remember to keep myself open-minded, to observe, and take away as much as I can from everything I do, hear and see. I wish, however, that there was something I could give in return as my labor is little more than a extra set of hands which work slowly in comparison to theirs. I have learned so much and believe I will continue to as the things I do here will likely be unmatched by the things I learn elsewhere in my life. I hope that maybe some time, even many years off, that what I learnt can come back around and help the people of Ayora in some way, and if not them, than someone somewhere in the world can be a little happier or better off because of all that I took from this community. I hope what I take can someday be balanced by what I can give in return.






Monday, 6 January 2014

My South American December.

Christmas vacation: the current point of my travels right now, although it does not seem that way as I am nearing the end. Since December 5th I have been venturing around Ecuador and even out of the country exploring, taking adventures, learning, and seeing and trying new things.
The 5th was our last day of class for the month and I left that evening to catch my flight out of Quito toward Chile. Of course, it wouldn't be that easy. Stacey and I had a 7 hour layover in Guayaquil (which means we hadn't even left Ecuador). We slept in the airport which was a first for me. We then caught our flight to Lima which then connected straight away to Santiago. We arrived in the afternoon the following day and because there is only a 2-hour time difference we were able to make use of the day without fatigue. Santiago is a beautiful city! The public works is very clearly in great form and well budgeted as they have a smoothly run and very clean subway metro system. There are various different areas and neighborhoods of the city all with their own unique style which makes for a great variance of restaurants, shops, and atmosphere. We spent an afternoon on a wine tour just outside Santiago. I knew nothing about wine other than that the process begins with a few grapes but Stacey and I decided that to be in Chile is the time for tasting wine. We visited one of the World's most famous and largest producing wineries: Concha y Toro. We spent part of the tour in the cellar which is called Casillero del Diablo which translates to "The Devil's Cellar". It is called this because hundreds of years ago the winery was robbed and lost a large stock of wine. In order to keep thieves out, a story was created that the cellar housed the devil himself. After that, no one dared to risk stealing from the cellar. Around the world, this wine is noticeable for it's unique temperature at which it is stored and for the length of storage, and also for the devil's head which is embossed on every bottle stored in that cellar.
It didn't take long for me to fall in love with Chile and it's diversity of climate but it was the switch to colder weather that made Chile seem familiar. I loved Southern Chile, Patagonia, and the Antarctic region. I am quite certain I will need to travel to the Argentinian area of Patagonia to explore it more. I can easily say I am hooked on the land there. While on the Chilean side we took a ferry one morning about 2 hours out into the ocean from Punta Arenas to an island inhabited by Magelanic penguins. The ferry stopped at the pebble beach and there were penguins everywhere roaming freely around the island. The only thing separating person from animal was a rope strung along a path so that the penguins can cross the path and travel about their island as they should. We walked around coming so close o the penguins ho were hardly phased by the presence of people. I strongly appreciated the humane and free way of allowing the penguins to continue to act normally as if no people were around. Many have even dug their nest so close to the walkway as if there were no people ever visiting the island to disturb them.
We also took a day tour through Parque Nacional Torres del Paine which is an incredibly large national park. We easily could have spent a week camping and exploring the park but with limited time we decided on a da tour to see 'the highlights'. We stopped at lagunes, lakes, mountain backdrops, to see Guanacos (an animal much like a mix between a deer and a llama) as well as Nandus (very similar to an ostrich). The day was fairly cloudy so we weren't able to see a lot of the lovely mountains that are in the background of nearly every picture taken. It also rained for nearly the entirety of our tour. Along with rain, and because it's the Chilean Antarctic, it was incredibly windy! I wish I could express the strength of the wind through my words and my pictures but there is nothing that could make it real. Needless to say, I have never had to bend down and struggle to make a simple step forward the way I did in Torres del Paine. At one point we stopped to see a large and beautiful waterfall called Salto Grande which was a 10 minute hike from the road. The rain was pelting incredibly hard because the wind was blowing so fast but the prospect of seeing this waterfall drove us to push forward... literally. The closer we got, the stronger the wind was, and when we reached the waterfall we had to hold the railing of the deck to avoid the very plausible possibility of being blown over. After the waterfall the tour bus stopped next to rope bride over a fast running river. We crossed the bridge and walked through a forest and as we did we caught the sight of something very blue out of the corner of our eyes, slightly obstructed by the trees. We walked further ad out onto a very expansive stone beach where we realized the blue we saw was an iceberg. We hadn't realized icebergs were on the agenda of the tour and the surprise was incredible. Big, bright icy blue, and once again we fought the wind and the rain. It was difficult to take pictures as it was a struggle to hold the camera straight in the wind and keep the lens dry... but we managed.
The next day we took a boat tour to see the glaciers on the fjord where Puerto Natales is located. We had originally wanted to see the Moreno Glacier in El Calafate on the Argentinian side of Patagonia in Glacieras Park but with our time constraints and planning schedule we chose two smaller glaciers closer by. Along the ride to the glaciers we stopped to see a cormorant colony (a local type of bird that resembles a penguin), a condor (a large bird which I had seen in Ecuador) and a couple sea-lions resting in the caves of the cliffs. We also passed by a series of waterfalls dropping off the rock cliffs along the fjord. When we got to the first glacier the mountains were once again obscured by fog and the rain was strong which made it difficult to see. We passed slowly by and as we did I noticed immediately how receded the ice was from the water. We then learned that the ice is deteriorating quickly and over the past year has receded from the water more than 100m up the mountain. We then moved on to the second glacier where we got off the boat and took an hour hike to it. As we walked along the rocky patch next to the bay, I noticed large pieces of ice floating around and then came across smaller pieces of ice all blended together along the shore of the bay in one section. At first I was amazed by all the ice in all different forms but I soon shook my had and realized the devastation in it. The temperature is by no means cold as I would consider cold as a Canadian and the excessive rain are contributing to the ice breaking away from the glacier. Many tour companies had advertised the glaciers by noting the possibility of seeing and hearing ice break off the glacier. I was troubled at this as to me environmental travesty should not be marketed as a tourist attraction. The glacier in itself was beautiful and the ice at this one took up most of the mountain from waterline up to the point of fog which I could not see past. It was incredible to say the least. Leaving Chile was the hard part of the trip. Not knowing when I would return and knowing I only saw a very miniscule portion of the country. However, it is easy for me to say that I know I will return... likely during summer though to take advantage of the Chilean winter for snowboarding.

After Chile I returned to Quito where the next day I left for a couple weeks of travel through Ecuador with my friend Amy. Our first stop was Banos. The town is known for its varying array of adventure activities. The first thing Amy and I did was canyoning which I think is a made-up word. Nevertheless, it entailed us to dress in wetsuits, helmets, and climbing shoes and climb up along waterfalls. Once at the top we put on harnesses and belayed ourselves down the waterfalls, we did this on 4 separate waterfalls. The next day we 'puented' which again sounds like a made-up word. This is basically bungee jumping off a bridge but a bit different. The bridge was incredibly high and the railing about 5 Ft tall and I had to club onto a small platform off the railing while attached to a harness. Instead of jumping  you sort of just fall or slightly jump straight out of the ledge and as you do the guide flips your feet so you front flip and then bounce back up and swing underneath the bridge. All in all, great fun! We also went rafting on a river about an hour outside Banos. Having been white water rafting in Canada, the trip was more of a leisurely paddle. The water wasn't very strong and there were no rapids, not to mention the water was a murky brown color. We also swung on the 'end of the world swing' which swings over the edge of what looks like a cliff but really is just a steep hill. Overall, it was a nice town with plenty to do and many ways to expand ones comfort levels. After that we ventured on to Cuenca where we spent Christmas. Cuenca is a beautiful city with many retired ex-pats living there. Amy and spent our days relaxing and enjoying the city and one day traveled to the nearby town of Ingapirca. The town houses old Incan ruins which we toured. We hadn't much for plans for Christmas but we came across two people in Cuenca who we had first met at our hostel in Banos. Kiki is a German woman who quit her job to travel the world for the year and Greig is a Scottish 2-time Cancer survivor travelling the world for 2 years as part of his initiative "101 Things To Do When You Survive" (www.101thingstodowhenyousurvive.com) where he is helping and inspiring other people with cancer to dream of the things they can do when they survive the disease. Anyway, our two new friends invited us for Christmas dinner with them and some other travelers. Our group consisted of 2 other Canadians who have been living in Peru who created a business to profile students from round the world online so that anyone can loan them money to help them attend post-secondary education with low interest rates, we also had a girl from New Zealand, a guy from India, a guy from South Korea, and a guy from London. It was great to have such global company at Christmas time when away from home. After Cuenca we went to Puerto Lopez on the coast. The first day we went to a beach within the national park Machalilla called Playa Los Frailes. The next day we took a tour of Isa de la Plata (otherwise referred to as The Poor Man's Galapagos). We took an hour and a half boat ride to the island and from there we hiked around and saw birds called blue-footed boobies and even saw sea turtles while in the boat but I was too amazed that I forgot to take pictures of them. From Puerto Lopez we finished out our trip in Montanita, also on the coast, for New Years. We did little else than relax on the beach. And that is my Christmas vacation. I am so lucky to be in South America where there is a large diversity of beauty that I can explore. I am also very thankful for the family that has helped me financially through the RRSP they have consistently contributed to since my birth and also for encouraging me to be a good person, to learn and encourage my adventurous sprit. From here, I venture on to my placement at the end of the week for the next 2.5 months. It's hard to believe I have surpassed the halfway point of my program and will be home in a short couple months! Certainly bittersweet. But I have plenty to do and learn between now and then and must remained positioned in the mentality of Ecuador and my passion for food and agriculture in order to observe and take away from this an experience which I doubt I will ever encounter again.






Sunday, 24 November 2013

A Little Of It All.

Once again I have fell behind on writing on a relatively regular basis. Somehow I am making time to do this when school is the busiest. Procrastination at it's finest.

In mid October we went on field trip to the Amazon for 3 days and aside from getting very sick on the last day it was educational. Still not so sure what made me sick but almost all students got the same symptoms within a few days of each other. Apart from that, we spent time visiting a small community where we learned about the farming system called Chakras and the many plants in the forest. We toured through a women's farm in the jungle. Immediately we learned that Chakras are very different than traditional farms. She didn't plant crops in clean and neat rows in a pasture. Rather, Chakras are a plot of land where all kinds of different plants and crops grow in no specific order or in ay specific pattern. Everything is within close proximity to each other growing and feeding off of the life of the plants around one another. It was beautiful because her farm didn't need to look like a farm, it looked like the jungle and she takes from it what she needs. There were plants and trees of all varieties. We chewed on the leaves of a cinnamon tree and ate the fruit of trees I had never before seen. The woman, who was considered the local expert on medicinal plants because she knew them all, explained to us the function and importance of nearly every plant we came across. Some helped aid a headache, others help women with menstrual pain, and others are great stomach pain remedies. She continued to explain how absolutely everything she needs is in the forest and the people in her community are healthy because of it. When they're ill, in pain, or in need of food, they turn to their Chakras which provide for them. This was the most rewarding aspect of my time in the Amazon. Being able to see people using what they have and needing very little else because they make use of nature for what she is meant for was a  beautiful contrast to hearing so much about people taking advantage of Nature for what she has but shouldn't necessarily be used for.

October ended with Halloween or as its known here: Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead. This actually takes place on November 1st. It is tradition here to eat and drink certain things on the days leading up. Wawa's de pan are bread in the shape of mummified children which are decorated and often contain a sweet filling in the centre.Coloda Morada is a drink which is made up of many blended fruits, and sweetened and then served hot. Both are delicious. On the 1st of November people head to the cemeteries with these foods and others. Cemeteries are filled with people spending the day eating and visiting with their dead loved ones. This is because many Indigenous people in Ecuador have long believed that a person's soul carries on after they die and they still have connections to them in which they can feel their emotions and thus they want to make sure they are fed and happy on the day to celebrate them.

November was mostly uneventful. I did, however book an 11 day trip to Chile in December from the 5th-16th. Stacey and I will fly to Santiago and spend half our time there and taking day trips outside the city. We then fly to Punta Arenas in Patagonia where we spend the second half of our time hopefully touring national parks and penguin colonies. I will soon be planning the remainder of my Christmas holiday touring parts of Ecuador I have yet to get to.
 Last weekend  I took a rather spontaneous trip with some friends to the southern city of Cuenca. It is beautiful there. We took a tour of the city by double-decker bus and ended at a beautiful look out high above the city. The next day we spent with a guide on a private tour of Parque Nacional Cajas. The park is located in various areas within the mountains outside Cuenca. At the highest point we reached we were around 4800m above sea level. Compared to the 2000 something meters in Quito it was quite the change! The simplest of climbs caused me to lose my breath so quickly. The weather in the mountains is cold, not Canada type cold but at least chilly and very windy. We went for a long hike through the mountains in the park and learned about much of the foliage there. Hiking wasn't difficult but as soon as a slight change in the terrain was noticeable, we could tell this meant a sudden loss of breath. It amazed me how difficult it was to climb a small hill knowing that in Canada this is never an issue because the altitude is so different. Near the end of our hike we had to climb up quite a ways as we had been working our way down and around the mountain. Never before have I dreaded climbing like this, but with reason. Every 100 Ft or so we would have to stop to catch our breath. Despite having spent many years of my life running cross-country I have never before struggled to catch my breath like I did then. This of course was made up for by the beautiful views which surround you at every angle.

Upon returning to Quito I have done little other than catch up on school work and try to figure out my placement. As a student who had expected myself to be living in Ghana this year rather than Ecuador, I am always finding new struggles. I knew it would be difficult to be here and that I would have to constantly adjust myself and especially my mind but I think the aspect of my placement has been the hardest. I had known what I  would be doing for placement if I were in Ghana and I had known for some time but had to switch my mind so suddenly to think in terms of Ecuador which has left me quite lost many times. Unfortunately, In Ecuador I cannot work in elephant conservation, so I've had to find a new interest. I am and have been very interested in sustainable agriculture due to its importance in world food systems. I am trying to find my placement within this field but I fear that I may be unhappy and not enjoy it because I had my mind set on something different for a long time. It hasn't been easy to be here and I have not been able to simply let go of my want to be in Ghana. Because I had to make a decision so quickly about coming to Ecuador, I had little time to switch my mindset and I knew this would catch up to me and cause me confusion. I am dealing with this and trying to find a way to balance myself. I have to try hard to let my mind be here in Ecuador instead of wandering so much and hopefully once my mind can be less nomadic and find its home, it will be easier for me to discover where I am supposed to be for the second half of my journey here.
This hasn't been much of a critical examination of my experiences but more of an outline of how my last month and a bit has been but there is plenty more to see here and plenty more to try to understand.





Sunday, 13 October 2013

A Month in Review

I haven't written in over a month, and this didn't occur to me because I hadn't realized a month had passed! time is flying while here in Ecuador. Aside from my classes and continuing to progress in Spanish, I have been trying to give myself as much of a cultural experience as possible through my love for adventure and trying new things.
A few weeks ago some of my friends and I travelled about 3 hours to Otovalo. This is an old town with great indigenous history. Every Saturday Otovalo is the host of one of the world's largest artisanal markets that takes up the entire downtown with vendors selling food, clothing, scarves, jewelry, art, etc. Most of the locals can be noticed by their clothing. The women wear white hand-crafted dresses and often a distinct hat. We walked around the market for hours deciding what to buy (literally everything was worthy of being purchased). Upon arriving in Otovalo the da before, we walked along train tracks out of the town and into a rural area on the mission of finding  Cascadas de Peguche (a large waterfall). After about an hour's walk we came to the park where the waterfalls were rushing from about 40 ft up. Otovalo was a beautiful place that I will undoubtedly be returning to soon, likely for Christmas shopping.

About 3 weeks ago, we travelled to Canoa, a small and quite coastal town. As school has been getting busier we were all in need of a relaxing weekend with no homework. The bus to Canoa took 6 hours and we travelled at night to maximize our time at the ocean. We arrived around 5 in the morning to a warm breeze. We slept at a hostel and when we woke up we headed straight to the restaurant for breakfast. Soon after we found ourselves in the white sandy beach. Throughout the whole weekend there was little sun but we made the bet of it. The air was warm and that's all we needed. I spent more time exploring the beach and checking out the shells, crabs, and birds I came across then actually lying on the beach. The beaches of Canoa are extremely quiet, especially because we went as winter was beginning to set in. This was great because there were fewer people to embarrass ourselves in front of when we took surfing lessons the next day. We came across an awesome deal where 6 of us got 3 hours of surfing lessons for $10 each. Although I had surfed before, I was not used to the large waves in Canoa. At one point the surfing instructor told me to follow him out further into the ocean so that I could practice swimming through the waves. t this point I didn't have my board to lie on so my arms and legs got tired quickly from the pressure of having to push through the waves which were incredibly strong.  After swimming out far,  I finally got my board and the instructor insisted that I  try to ride those waves. They were huge and quite frightening. I tried it out but whenever I fell I was beaten up by the huge wave. When we got back to the beach, the instructor told me that in 5 days I could become a pro, which was reassuring because after been hit by many a wave, I thought I was sure my amateurism was evident.

Last week we went on a class field trip to a farm just outside Quito. We had been learning about sustainable food practices as well as the importance of food sovereignty and food security in Ecuador. This trip was meant to put what we had read about into our minds through a more practical and realistic approach. The farm is a relatively small plot of land that had been broken up from a larger hacienda estate. Upon arriving we first learned that the farm has no access to running water and thus they use a very different system for their bathrooms. The bathroom is in a separate building from the house made of beautiful brick. Because the farm doesn't have running water, they rely on rain water for their needs. Thus, the bathroom is not equipped with a flushing system. All waste is reused as fertilizer fort he grass and the trees.
The farm grows fruit and vegetables and uses them for their own subsistence in addition to selling to the local town down the mountain. The owners of the farm are also a part of the Via Campesina movement where small-scale producers work with local populations to provide healthy and affordable food bundles to the communities. It's a movement that created food sovereignty or the ability to have control over their own food production. The farm also uses no pesticides in their growing process. The trip to the farm was of great interest to me as I am a proponent of small scale sustainable farming as opposed to corporation production for trade on international markets.  

This past week we left very early Wednesday morning and travelled about 5 hours North of Quito to the Intag Cloud Forest Reserve. We stayed at the lodge of a well known activist against mining exploitation in Intag, named Carlos Zorrilla. Carlos has worked very hard for Intag by resisting and pushing out the Canadian mining corporation Ascendant. Carlos founded the grassroots organization DECOIN (Organization for the Defense and Conservation of Intag) to resist World Bank sponsored projects for mining exploration in the cloud forest. Carlos has been targeted and officially criminalized by Ecuador's president, Raphael Correa, as been one of the people who are hindering Ecuador's development. But is the destruction of natural resources, the displacement of people, and the creation of major health issues really "development"? It's certainly debatable.  Carlos talked to us about his resistance to the mining initiatives as well the continuous motions made by various corporations in tandem with the Ecuadorian government to push mining as an economic benefit. Mining relations between Ecuador and big corporations through bilateral treaties are written and designed to create jobs and wealth for the exploited country(Ecuador) and emphasizing that the two countries will protect the other's mining interests. The problem here is that Canada, for example, mine in Ecuador and thus under the treaty Ecuador must protect Canada's mining interests, however, there are no Ecuadorian mining companies in Canada, so Canada does not need to protect anyone and therefore they benefit from these relations, leaving Ecuador with a mass loss of resources and Canada with more money. Being Canadian and always proud of it and never ashamed to say where I'm from, that changed after listening to Carlos.
In addition to leading DECOIN, Carlos' lodge is also a farm where grows sustainable shade-grown coffee to offer a economic alternative to mining in Intag. Shade grown coffee allows for more life because trees can be planted in the vicinity of other types of trees rather than in an open field that has been created for cultivation. There is also less erosion because rain hits the leaves above the coffee trees before hitting the ground and contributing to th erosion. The food that we ate while at the lodge was all fresh and most grown on his farm. I have never eaten such good food. It's not an exaggeration to say one can taste the difference between GMO/large-scale production goods and sustainable, pesticide-free food. That first night Carlos set up a light with a sheet hanging in front of it to attract moths. The purpose was to show us a simple explanation of the diversity found in the cloud forests. Within minutes of turning on the lights there were 30-40 different types of moths all clinging to the same sheet. Carlos told us that nearly every night that he sets up the light for the moths, a new type of moth that he has never seen before will appear. Carlos has lived there for about 20 years and that night he still saw 2 knew moths that he had never before come across.

The second day in Intag was a busy one! We started the day by hiking for 4 hours through the primary forest (meaning nothing has been cut down and replanted, all life is primary). As we climbed up and around one of the mountains, our guide Roberto (the only full-time worker on Carlos' farm) would stop along the way to explain to us aspects of the forest's biodiversity. At one point we stopped beside a tree where Roberto dug his large knife in the trunk. A black liquid emerged onto his knife and explained that this substance can heal external cuts and scratches as well a stomach ulcers. To apply the liquid to your skin hardens it and creates a protection on top of the cut. Essentially, it is a completely natural polysporin. When we returned from the hike, a local artisanal group explained t us how the make their products. The group is comprised entirely of women who use their handicrafts to supplement their income from farming. The women use Agave, which is basically a 10 foot tall aloe plant to make their products which we later got to purchase. These women also became our host mothers for the remainder of our stay in Intag. That afternoon we had to climb back up the mountain to get to the homes of our new host families. this journey up the mountain was a long and difficult one. Some families(like mine) owned horses or donkeys to take us up the mountain. I didn't ride the horse until the last half hour. The paths were narrow and the terrain was steep, soft, and rocky making for a rough ascent. Upon arriving at the home I would b staying at I was not really too surprised. What I saw was more or less what I expected. The home was made of cement and the walls didn't completely reach the roof making the house extremely cold and a place for not just people, but for mosquitos and many other bugs. The next day I was to follow my family and assist them with their daily work routine. The family I stayed with were bean farmers which meant waking up at 5am with he roosters. A about 7:30 we left for the work day and needed to climb further up the mountain in order to scale down it to get to the valley. The walk down the mountain was unlike anything I had ever done. There were no paths or ruts in the ground, all we had were trees and plants to grab ahold to steady ourselves so that we didn't fall face first hundreds if feet down the mountain. Once we reached the valley, my calves were burning in pain but work began right way. We started by laying out tarps and emptying sacks of shelled beans onto the tarps so they could dry out in the sun. About an hour later we checked the beans and because they were dry enough we could take long ticks and began beating the beans. We spent about an hour completely pulverizing the shells so that all the beans would fall out of their dry shells. We then needed to separate shell from bean. The next step was to ensure there was no dirt or debris with the beans when they get put in the sacks. The beans are scooped into baskets and held over heads and dumped into another basket. This is don so that all the debris can fly out with the wind as the beans fall straight to the basket. Then the beans are put into sacks and are ready to be sold locally. Most farmers in Intag are subsistence farmers, so they produce food to consume for themselves but there isn't enough to sell. The work was extremely labour intensive and very difficult in the hot sun. I was glad that I didn't have to harvest anything  off the mountain. Farmers need to make use of all available land, so their are full crops growing on the sides of the mountain, top to bottom. When we finished working, we climbed back up the mountain. I dreaded this all day knowing how tired I would be and how exhausting and physically challenging it would be. The Grandmother, who was likely around 70-years-old, climbed up and down the mountain with incredible ease while wearing croc-like shoes. The 3-year-old son also climbed down and up again with little effort. I, wearing my hiking boots, still struggled to find good footing. I could not complain as the view on the way up was the most incredible I have witnessed so far in Ecuador. The clouds were beginning to set in around the mid section of the mountains. To look on each side of me and see nothing but foliage, cloud, and mountain left me needing to stop often to turn around and take it all in. My explanation of this beauty does not do it justice, but unfortunately it was impractical for me to lug my camera with me to work so I have only my memory to allow me this scenery from now on. While walking up they explained to me that they do this routine every day. Day after day they descend the mountain, work hard for 8 hours, and then climb back up. I was impressed but also saddened that the worked this hard with barely any economic return, especially for the Grandmother who still had to exhaust herself everyday at her age. That night I slept for maybe 2 hours. I had discovered a mouse in my bedroom, a large black spider across from my bed, and a multitude of black grasshopper-like bugs around the room. This combined with front door that continuously swung open all night allowing more bugs to enter, kept me awake. In the morning I found a large beetle making it's way up the blanket toward me. I was surprised that I was bothered by these conditions, but I was and I didn't like myself for it. Part of studying what I do is understanding that not everyone lives the same. It is one thing to be aware and understand, and very much another to experience it yourself. I learned so much from my time in Intag and loved working as a bean farmer for a day, learning the ecology of the cloud forests and hearing Carlos' first-had experiences with mining "developments". To be here requires me to constantly ensure that my mind is open and aware. To close it for just a second could mean losing or jeopardizing my own knowledge and reality, and to do that would be a crime in itself to me, the people I learn from, and Ecuador from whom I take so much and hope to give somehow in return.




Wednesday, 11 September 2013

3 weeks in.

I have been here in Ecuador for nearly 3 weeks. I feel as if I've been here 3 months. I have started school, I have moved in with my host-family and I have begun touring the country. My life here is certainly starting to take shape.
On the day that I met my host family (which consists of a mother and my 15-year-old brother), I was taken to their home to unpack. That day was a strong indicator of what my lifestyle would be like living there; busy and exciting. I spent maybe half an hour in the house before my brother, Jose-Maria, took me and a few friends on a gondola up one of the nearby mountains. We hiked and took in the scenery of the mountainous landscape and the city of Quito below. That night they rushed me off to centro-historical, the historical and colonial area of Quito. It's a place filled with incredible architecture, great sights, and lots of interesting stories. The next day I found myself ziplining through the jungle and spotting my first sight of a Tucan.
The next weekend, the one that has just passed, my host-family took me with them on a road trip to the Esmerelda's. The area is an odd mix of beauty and devastation, rich in diversity, but poor in living conditions. Upon entering the city we drove past slums and neighbourhoods of houses propped up on stilts above the murky waters of Rio Esmereldas. Soon later we drove past one of the many beaches situated along their coast by the Pacific. The beaches are beautiful and large, sunny and sandy. To have driven mere kilometres from slum to beautiful beach seemed  strange to me. How could the area change so drastically, and so quickly? The houses are small, and the living conditions severely different than what I have become accustomed to in Quito. Before leaving, my brother informed me that some days there is water, but other days there isn't and you can never be sure when you will have the luxury of running water. For the majority of the weekend that I was there, there was no running water, which meant no way to wash your hands. For a period of a weekend, I wasn't much bothered by this as I had prepared myself at least minimally for different conditions. After returning to Quito, I wondered whether I would have the capacity to live like that for more than a weekend. I still cannot be sure that I would. This is not because I'm a materialistic person or need to live with certain luxuries (because I don't), it's more because I am not sure I would mentally be able to confront myself daily with the reality that I may never know what will or could happen.
While in the Esmereldas Jose-Maria and I took surfing lessons. This is something I have wanted to do for a while and finally got a chance. A background n snowboarding certainly helped. The motions and balance were very similar, so we both picked it up quickly. I have yet to receive my pictures from the instructor so those will come later.

Ecuador is always surprising me and amazing me. Although I had not expected to be here (because my initial choice to study abroad was in Ghana), I am finding meanings to why I was led to Ecuador instead. It is difficult, because the country rarely resembles anything to Canada, and because my Spanish is still not great (but I'm learning each day), but difficult is not a bad thing. I'm embracing it. If it were easy to be here, then I may wonder why I am here at all. As I work through this first semester, I am essentially preparing myself for second term where I will find myself in another part of the country. Second term is where I finally get to jump into the field of development work by volunteering with an organization and researching, learning, and eventually writing on what I find. I expect this part of my journey to be even more difficult. Again though, it should be. Whether I find myself learning the way of sustainable coffee farming, or restoring habitats that have been displaced by extraction I know that my knowledge ad learning will be endless while here in Ecuador. To be in this place is beautiful and is constantly opening and stretching my mind. And in the grand scheme of my entire life, this journey is but only 8 months. A very miniscule period, with major implications.
 

Thursday, 29 August 2013

Las montanas delante de mi.

I left Ontario for Quito, Ecuador 5 days ago. I have never spent 8-9 months outside of Canada before. I have never been to South America. I have never had to speak so much Spanish.

 Ecuador differs from Canada in more than one way. Although both countries are mountainous, the mountain ranges are not similar. Living in Ontario, I have never had the luxury of waking up and seeing grassy-topped mountains out my bedroom or classroom window. In Quito, everywhere I have gone I am constantly surrounded by the view of the mountains. As Canadians we are more accustomed to snow-capped mountains on the west coast and Quebec. We are also accustomed to seasonal temperatures matched with natural seasonal elements. In Quito, the day may begin chilly and foggy, but by 10am it can be sweltering for a few hours and by around 2:00 it will cool down and maybe rain, and as the sun sets around 6:30, the temperature drops quite low.

The city of Quito also differs in comparison to Toronto, for example. The colonial area of Quito is bustling with people and cars, everywhere! The architecture is old and beautiful. The buildings; colourful. There are shops painted pink, yellow, and blue, and important buildings clean and white. There are fountains and cobblestone alleys. If Toronto, with it's high rise buildings and glass architecture, is to be considered modern, then colonial Quito is very much pre-modern.  

At home, if I were to order lunch at a restaurant I would normally get Iced-Tea or maybe a pop with my meal. However, in Ecuador we are often served fruit juices that are so exotic in comparison to the selections at home of orange, apple, or cranberry. So far, I have drank fresh papaya juice, pineapple juice, passion fruit juice, and the juice of a large yellow football-sized fruit of which I cannot remember the name. Just today I went for lunch with some other Trent-in-Ecuador students and got a delicious bowl of potato and chicken soup, a plate of some beef, a large portion of rice, and cooked vegetables, as well as a glass of that lovely pineapple juice, and small cup of fruit in some type of sweet sauce for dessert. This filling and over-all delicious meal cost me $3.50 USD.

In my time here so far I have certainly noticed signs of development (the amount of schools, and business people, for example). I have also noticed signs of underdevelopment (certain standards of living and overcrowding). In addition, I've noticed pockets of Westernization here and there. I did not expect to come to Ecuador and see a KFC, a Pizza Hut,  or two Payless shoe stores; but I did. My immediate thought was whether these conglomerations are indicators of development. That's a topic for another post though, and perhaps something worthy of a thesis paper.

I could go on for a very long time writing of the differences in culture, lifestyle, geology, and environment between Ecuador and Canada, but I have may more months to write.
Hasta luego!